I molested 6 butterflies tonight
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
