I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She announced her abortion via fbk
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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