I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
