i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
