she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize