I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
