what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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