dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
