were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize