sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
