I accidentally burped into my bong.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
