when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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