But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
