what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
