So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
