Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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