Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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