you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
