he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
