Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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