You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
