I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
