Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
