At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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