you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
