she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
farters have to be the big spoon...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
