I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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