Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Houston, we have a squirter
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Randomize
