shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
