"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
