yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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