you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You have to summon your inner elephant
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
