I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize