Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize