i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
