He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
