drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
