Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
