Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
