Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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