One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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