Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
