Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
