Screwed.edu
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
