When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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