No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
