i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize
