I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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