Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
