what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
