not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
