even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
