We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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