I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
