Having a random hookup so left but love u
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
