Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
