He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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