WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
