I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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