If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
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I need you to use more vowels.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
