The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
So apparently I’m into choking now
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
