why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
